"What did you learn at school today?" is a question many parents ask, only to hear the familiar reply: "Nothing." This can quickly bring the conversation to an end and leave parents wondering how to encourage their child to share more about their day.
Think about your own day. When someone asks, "How was work?" you might simply answer, "Fine." Children often respond in the same way. General questions usually lead to general answers.
A better approach is to ask specific, open-ended questions. These encourage children to think, reflect and share details about their experiences. More focused questions give children a clear direction for their thoughts and make conversations more meaningful.
Instead of asking only, "What did you learn today?", try questions that explore your child's feelings, friendships, challenges, achievements or favourite moments. These kinds of conversations can help strengthen your relationship while giving you valuable insight into your child's school life.
The following 20 after-school questions are designed to help your child open up and keep the conversation going.
So try one of these 20 questions to ask children after school to learn more about your child’s day.
| Door Openers | Door Slammers |
|---|---|
| “Door openers” are open-ended questions that encourage children to talk about whatever is important to them. They help establish rapport, gather information, and increase understanding. Door openers should be used frequently, though not exclusively, in conversation. When we ask children open-ended questions, we have to be ready and willing to listen to the response. | Part of knowing how to talk to children is knowing what not to say. Those are Door Slammers. They are sure-fire ways to stop conversations by making children feel that you don’t care about their feelings or thoughts. |
1. What part of the day goes by the fastest/slowest?
2. What made your teacher(s) smile/frown today?
3. Did you help in clean up today?
4. Do you think anyone in your classes could grow up to be a _________?
5. What do you think I would like most about your classroom(s)?
6. What’s your favourite spot in the school?
7. What did you talk about over lunch today?
Who did you play with today?
D id you say ‘Thank you’ to anyone today?
What did you like better today: snack time or circle time?
Who did you play with today?
Did anyone do anything funny at school today?
What made you feel the happiest today?
What did you play outdoors today?
When did you feel most proud of yourself today?
Tell me one new thing you learned today.
What made you laugh today?
Did anyone do anything nice for you today?
What was the nicest thing you did for someone else today?
Who brought the best food in their lunch today? What was it?
Open-ended questions encourage children to think beyond simple "yes," "no," or one-word answers. Instead of asking questions that have a single correct response, open-ended questions invite children to describe, explain, imagine and reflect on their experiences. This helps conversations become richer, more engaging and more meaningful.
When children answer open-ended questions, they practise important communication skills such as organising their thoughts, expressing their feelings, using new vocabulary and developing confidence in speaking. Parents also gain a better understanding of their child's learning, friendships, interests and emotions.
Making open-ended questions a regular part of everyday conversations helps strengthen parent–child relationships, builds trust and creates opportunities for children to feel heard, supported and valued. Over time, children become more comfortable talking about both the positive and challenging parts of their day, laying the foundation for strong communication skills throughout life.
