Today it is a growing trend among parents to be in a highly coveted competition to win the trophy of a good parent. The definition of 'a good parent' being the one who achieves the highest score in the good books of their children.
But in reality …. It is OK if you don't score the brownie points!

How good is this pleasing habit for our role as a parent?

We bring everything that we are directly into our parenting. So, it is important for us to be well aware of our people pleasing tendencies that can undermine our parenting in significant ways. In fact, if gone unchecked, it can be detrimental to your child —despite your best intentions.

Here are some familiar situations that parents find themselves in when they are part of 'THE GOOD PARENT' competition, and believe that children should never hear a 'NO'.

• Your child refuses to sleep in his bed, you allow him to sleep with you.
• Your child doesn't like vegetables, so it's easier to make another meal.
• Your child gives you a puppy face when he's on the timeout chair, and you melt and let him off, unable to stand the thought of disappointing him.
• You really want your child to have what they want, so you blow the budget on their birthday even when you can't afford it.

Who doesn't feel pressure in these situations?
The intentions are noble. You want to help your child. But are you?

There are at least five ways your drive to be pleasing will harm your child (and yourself):

1. You will forget that you're the parent.
Sometimes it's so hard to remember that we are THE PARENT, not a friend, our children today need parents, as they have plenty of friends. You're the parent. That means there are times where your approval rating will drop to historic lows with your child, but unlike a politician, you can't be unelected. You are in this for life. The right thing and the easy thing are rarely the same thing.
2. Children really don't fathom what's good for them.
If you asked a preschooler what does she want for breakfast, lunch and dinner she would very promptly say a cheese pizza, and an ice cream. What we want and what we need are two different things.
3. Conflicts with your spouse.
If you're trying to please your child, it will almost always come at the expense of your relationship with your spouse. Especially if your spouse is happy to be the parent. One of the best gifts you can give your child is a healthy marriage with parents who operate on the same page.
2. Long term damage to your child.
When you're trying to please the ever so-fickle voice of your children, it will become more difficult to hear the inner voice, beneficial for your children. You will start to ignore clear teaching in favor of what they'll like, this will condition the child to become ever demanding. Children of 'Pleaser parents' believe that they are at the top of the family hierarchy and that you are there to fulfill their wishes at all times.
5. Nobody's actually that happy.
You and I have heard it a thousand times: the one who tries to please everyone ultimately pleases no one. Here's why that's true: Eventually, when you look back on your child-raising years you will wish that you should have had more of a background. Your child will just end up wishing their mom and dad had more backbone and guided them in the direction they should have gone.

So what should we do?
It's not that hard. Do what you believe to be right. Be a parent.
So now, think back of all the situations that you have encountered as a parent, analyze your response, ask yourself were you being a True Parent or A Pleaser Parent, and that is where your answer lies.

Always remember after some tense and challenging years of your child's growing up, your child might eventually tell you - at some point in their twenties or thirties - that they're deeply grateful for the way you steered them in the right direction.

Imagine that!
It might even ultimately make you the winner of THE GOOD PARENT trophy.